The pre-titles sequence references PBS’s art program The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. Peter is supposedly following Bob’s instructions and painting a landscape scene, but it is revealed he has painted the Keaton family from NBC’s Family Ties in a parody of that show’s opening titles.
Peter plays a magical clam in a historical re-enactment of Quahog’s founding. The celebration is led by Mayor West, making his first appearance of the series. Meg is embarrassed when a rogue wave steals Peter’s clam costume and he is washed up ashore upside-down and naked, and further unintentionally embarrassing Meg when later getting out of the car at a gas station, Peter is still naked and unembarrassed about his nakedness in public. While he is naked, Peter catches sight of Kevin Swanson working and takes him over to the car pointing out Meg, infuriating her. Meg has a slumber party with her friends, and when Lois hears them playing a game she decides to join. Meg gets embarrassed, and notices that Chris is hiding behind the couch, in anticipation of a naughty pillow fight or other titillating activity. It is the final straw for Meg when Peter embarrasses her at her slumber party by crashing through the stairs and getting stuck by his waist and stomach, making her decide to take action.
Meg gets the family invited on The Diane Simmons Show to discuss their dysfunction, but instead of ending the embarrassment, this gets the family their own reality show, The Real Live Griffins. Meg leaves the family, and the show. Her replacement is a teenage sex symbol who steals the show. Eventually, the whole family is replaced. The replacement cast is Tom Arnold as Peter, Fran Drescher as Lois, “that fat guy from Boogie Nights” as Chris, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen as Stewie and Brian, forcing the real Griffins to live in a motel until the reality show contract expires. Peter gives Meg an ice cream as she is reunited with the family, and she ends the episode typing a diary entry into her computer. Stewie then changes Meg’s last sentence from “I couldn’t be happier” to “I want to KILL THEM ALL”.
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